I married my first boyfriend. We married young, grew up, divorce as adults. Next, I married a lazy dreamer who preferred playing a gladiator on the computer over being a responsible adult in the real world.
I have been a twice-divorced woman, out there in the dating world, for over a decade and dating, in Miami, at my age, is not an easy thing to do.
This eternal dating can make any woman want to throw in the towel. But not me, I inhale a gallon of Chunky Monkey (sometimes with my friend’s Liz’s assistance) and I keep going back for more. Am I sadistic? Hopeful? Moronic? Masochistic? Am I a 50-something year old idiot that still believes in knights in shining armor or frogs that turn into princes? I do not know. All I know is that the stupid romantic inside me refuses to give up. It would be so easy to surrender and crawl into bed with a good book, yet another rerun of Law & Order on the television, and all my pets keeping me warm. But NOOOO, no matter how deep the heartbreak and how bad the humiliation or how huge of a loser my date is, I always go back for more.
I just want that Hollywood ending! Sometimes I can actually hear the music, see the credits, the words, THE END, and then the filming company’s logo:
Marta O: as herself.
Mr. Fabulous with a real job that makes decent money, responsible, straight, has no issues with homosexuality, races, religions, respects animals, is not making anything "great again", and accepts my loud family: as himself
1. Three sisters and their husbands, a bunch of nieces and two nephews, my sweet mother, and, occasionally, a Walt Disney World-loving brother and his fabulous wife.
2. Various pets shedding tons of pet hair.
3. A fabulous, tattoed, opinionated, lesbian best friend named Liz.
The final logo scrolls on the screen. You know what I am talking about, that logo that appears right after the actors' names and the music, wardrobe, makeup, and lights credits. When you see that logo, you know the movie is really over. The girl ended up with the guy. That is what I want to see. I want to see my logo. Then, I would be finally able to sigh, relax, and enjoy my own happily ever after.
The question is. Where is that dammed logo?